Words are powerful. They can either make or break a person, and most especially a child. All of us have been through that stage in our life, wouldn’t you agree, Mom?
In fact, you probably still remember a kind remark that someone made when you were younger. Okay, you probably don’t remember it word by word, but you definitely remember how it made you feel, right?
That’s how powerful words are. They stay in our memories for a long time.
So whatever you say to your kids now can have a huge impact on them in the future. You want them to feel heard, appreciated, and understood. That may sound intimidating, but it really isn’t.
In this blog post, let’s look at some key phrases that a kid needs to hear from their moms and parents through the years.
Nice words from parents that help kids in developing good habits
"I trust you."
Trust is the foundation and root of every relationship. Just as a house should be built on a good foundation, your relationship with your children should be built with trust.
Trust is, of course, a big word. But you can definitely give them a measure of your trust by letting them help you out with your chores at home. For example, you can ask your kids to water the plants, partner up with dinner preparations, or do the dishes once or twice a week.
Giving them chores is one way for a parent to let their kids know that you trust their abilities to get things done in life. And by investing trust in them, they’ll learn to trust in you as well. In moments like this, just think of it as a give-and-take kind of situation.
You make kids feel appreciated, and you get little things checked off your to-do list because of your busy life. You also develop their sense of responsibility. Don’t be surprised if one day your kids just take the initiative to help you with another job.
"How are you?"
This may sound basic, but how well do you know your child? How much do you know about the problems or insecurities they’re struggling with? The truth is, you’ll never know what your kids are going through unless you start asking them about it.
These three words can be the key for you to have a sincere and honest conversation with your kids. So when they answer this question, make it a point to really listen. Drop whatever it is you are doing and listen to them talk about how their day went. And if they don’t feel like talking, try to gently probe.
Chances are they’re having a bad day or something horrible happened, and they worry about you finding out about it. Some kids, especially older children and teens, prefer to disclose their worries to their friends rather than their moms. Sometimes they brush off their bad days and just tell you they’re fine.
If your kids struggle to express themselves, you can try to break the ice and lead them on by asking questions. Be patient and wait for them to tell their story.
But mom, be careful so that your kid does not feel threatened or intimidated. Rather, make them feel heard and respected. Once your children feel that you sincerely love and care about them, they will trust you even more, and your bond will be stronger.
You can try and make this a routine or exercise with your family. During mealtime or at night, ask your kids how their day or week went. Was it wonderful? Did they make a new friend?
There will come a moment when they open up themselves without you having to prompt a response from them. Once this happens, it’s going to be a wonderful parenting milestone for you.
"Can you tell me why you're sorry?"
For as long as we can remember, we’ve always been taught to say sorry whenever we do someone wrong. And we’re pretty sure that’s what you’ve taught them to do as well.
The problem is, there are moments when we end up saying sorry simply because we have to, and not really because we understand what we’re sorry for. Remember we’re not the only ones experiencing that. It can happen to your kids too!
It is a good step that they acknowledge their mistake, but knowing what they are apologizing for will help them realize the impact of their actions on others. When your children understand why they are sorry, they will own up to their mistakes and focus not on repeating them.
But how would you know if your kid is sincere without making them feel intimidated? Well, you can always start by saying, “Thank you for saying sorry.” This should help make them feel comfortable with telling you what they’re sorry for.
Remember, your kids are only human. The important thing is they learn and understand from their mistakes and that’s what makes them a better person.
"What are your thoughts about this?"
We love it when others make us feel heard and acknowledged, and the same thing goes for your children too. By teaching kids how to express their opinions tactfully, you help them practice how to think before they speak. You also teach them that their words matter.
They can practice speaking up by allowing them to participate in family discussions and voice out their ideas or opinions about a specific topic. Of course, make sure that you remind them to consider other people’s feelings and opinions before talking out their own.
By training them to respect other people’s opinions, you also help other people value their opinions each time they speak up. Kids also develop confidence if you give them a safe space to talk about their opinions. It may be a small thing now, but we assure you, they will be grateful to have you in their lives.
"You can do it!"
Hey moms, if there’s one phrase or compliment that should be on your To-Say list, it should be this one.
Life is already tough as it is, and all the more so for your kids who are just starting out on their journey. Let’s not make it more challenging for them by putting them down with unkind words or having to point out their errors.
As parents, we’re supposed to be our children’s proud cheerleader and number one fan. So help them keep their focus despite the challenges and pressures they’ll face along the way.
Let them know that they don’t always have to achieve things. Let your kids know that their efforts are enough; who they are is already enough for the people who do matter.
Your child will have to go through a series of failures sooner or later, but your faith in them will help them rise above each challenge. So rather than criticize them for what they failed to do, do your best to build their confidence by highlighting the efforts they’ve put into their actions.
Mom, your undying support will go a long way in helping them persevere in life. You also ensure that they grow up with a healthy level of self-esteem and self-love. Your kids will be lucky to have you, because trust us, it’s a sign that you’re doing a fine job in parenting!
"You deserve a second chance."
Dear moms, your kids are bound to make mistakes in the future—lots of them. So let them know that they always have the chance to do things right a second time.
Because don’t we all deserve one? We’re only human, after all.
Of course, we want to do more than just tell them this. We also want to show we are willing to give them another chance when they fail to meet our expectations. We want them to see we are willing to help them do better every time they make mistakes.
As a parent, it’s our job to remind our kids that they deserve a second chance.
But that doesn’t mean that we should simply turn a blind eye when they make bad decisions in life.
Instead, we allow them to take responsibility for the consequences of whatever decision they’ve made. Doing so will help them grow into responsible individuals. And surely this is one of the things every mom could hope for.
"You don't need to please everyone."
Here is the last but definitely not the least important line that kids need to hear. “You don’t need to please everyone.”
We’re probably guilty of this from time to time, but we’re sure you’d agree that it’s essential for your kids to understand early on that they don’t need to make everyone happy. Because the reality is, it’s impossible to please everybody, including family and friends.
Of course, we want our kids to feel loved and acknowledged. Unfortunately, the world isn’t always fair. If they learn this truth early on, reality won’t sting that much once they experience this truth for themselves.
By helping them set the right expectations about how people act, you save them from unnecessary heartache and depression. And you also teach your child to set healthy boundaries so they can stand up for themselves.