Balancing Motherhood and Career in Spaces That Weren’t Built for Us
I’ve been reflecting on what it means to show up as both a professional and a mom. In my own journey, and in countless conversations I’ve had with other moms, I keep noticing the same theme: trying to balance a career and parenting feels like walking a tightrope in a space that was never designed with our full humanity in mind.
The Silence That Stings
Even in spaces that are supposed to support women, like affinity groups/ERGs or “working moms” networks, it can feel hard to be honest about what life actually looks like. I’ve had moments where I shared that my baby was going through a sleep regression, thinking it would be a safe place for empathy. Instead, the response was silence, or worse, side-eyes. As if my honesty didn’t belong. I’ve noticed another pattern: when I talk openly about the joys in my life outside of work, things like celebrating a milestone with my kids, or carving out time for a creative outlet, people sometimes question my dedication. The unspoken message seems to be: if you’re not consumed by work, then you must not be serious about it.
But, honestly, moms can have a full life and be deeply committed to their careers. Those two things aren’t in conflict.
The Hidden Layers
Consider everything I mention, then, layer onto that reality the challenges of perimenopause, chronic health conditions, or parenting neurodivergent children who need regular therapy schedules. Add in navigating workplaces that measure “commitment” in hours instead of outcomes. It can feel impossible to simply exist as a full human being.
That’s why we need to talk about this out loud. Pretending these challenges don’t exist doesn’t make them go away. It just forces moms to carry their weight silently, and that silence only adds to the burden.
To the Moms Reading This
Mamas, I want you to know this: you are seen, and you are heard.
While I know encouragement alone isn’t always enough, I want to offer a few practical things that have helped me, and that I’ve seen work for other moms, when it comes to finding balance.
✨ At work:
- Block time on your calendar for what matters: school pickups, doctor’s appointments, or even a 15-minute mental reset. Don’t wait for permission to protect your time.
- Track your accomplishments in real time. Having a list of your wins makes self-advocacy easier when reviews or promotions come around.
- Find your people. Even if it’s just one or two other parents or allies, build a micro-community at work so you’re not carrying everything in isolation.
✨ Outside of work:
- Prioritize recovery. Rest is a form of resistance in a culture that tells us we must always be “on.”
- Use systems that ease your load like shared family calendars, meal planning apps, or even childcare swaps with trusted friends. Small steps free up big energy.
- Celebrate your wins, big or small. Some days, just making it through with everyone fed and safe is victory enough.
To the Managers and Leaders
If you are a manager or organizational leader reading this, know this: creating an inclusive, flexible workplace isn’t just a benefit for moms. It improves your culture, strengthens retention, and benefits everyone.
Here are some ways you can make a difference:
✨ Normalize flexibility. Offer remote options, compressed schedules, or flexible hours, and don’t make people “prove” they need it. When it’s available to everyone, no one feels singled out.
✨ Focus on outcomes, not hours. Productivity isn’t measured by who can stay at their desk the longest. Anchor performance in results, not “face time.”
✨ Create spaces for humanity. Wellness rooms, quiet spaces, or even explicit permission to take mental health breaks send the message that people are more than just their roles.
✨ Model vulnerability. Share your own boundaries and challenges. When leaders go first, employees feel safer to show up as whole people too.
When moms don’t have to hide parts of their humanity to succeed, everybody benefits – your teams, your company culture, and your bottom line.
Why This Matters
Motherhood has taught me that thriving isn’t about doing it all. It’s about building systems, support, and spaces that let us show up authentically. I believe our workplaces have a responsibility to honor that too.
If we can get this right, moms won’t just survive their careers while raising children. We’ll thrive in them.
Join the Conversation
If this resonates with you, I invite you to join us in the Parent Porch community. This is a space where moms and dads can be real about the struggles and the wins, and where we share tools, resources, and encouragement for the journey.
If you want to hear more of these conversations, tune into the ParentPorch Podcast, where we’re digging even deeper into these realities and sharing practical strategies you can use today.
No mom should have to navigate this tightrope alone.
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